There are different ones in all of our lives. Often they are family, friends or work colleagues. People we deal with every day, who make our life difficult. The English call them “hassler”, but for us they are simply the “annoying ones”. A source of annoyance capable of influencing our mood and, apparently, not only that. In fact, according to a recent study, “difficult” people make you age faster.
The study on annoying people
If it is true that social relationships are fundamental for human health, it is also true that within our networks negative ties are not rare, on the contrary. They are pervasive and little-studied elements that can accelerate biological aging. According to scientists, spending time with a complicated person can have an immediate impact on mood, but over time these difficult social interactions could also have an effect on physical health. The study, financed by the US National Institute on Aging and published in ‘Pnas’ (Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences), investigated precisely this aspect which has so far been little explored.
The health effects
While positive relationships have long been linked to a healthier, longer life, annoying people appear to have the opposite effect: They increase chronic stress and elevate epigenetic biomarkers associated with aging. The study also highlighted that these negative bonds are experienced disproportionately by those already facing greater social and health vulnerabilities, but also by women compared to men. The authors of the study even note a ‘cumulative’ effect: each additional annoying person in your circle corresponds to a faster aging rate of about 1.5% and a biological age that is about 9 months older. In general, the results, the scholars summarize, highlight the crucial – negative – role of hassler and the need for interventions that reduce harmful social exposures to promote healthier aging paths.
Stress and aging
One thing is certain: “Not all social ties are supportive”, as highlighted by associate professor of Sociology at New York University and lead author of the study, Byungkyu Lee, in the in-depth analysis published online in the Washington Post. Some friendships can be ambivalent and ‘bittersweet’, bringing lights and shadows. Others, notes co-author Brea Perry, associate director of the Irsay Institute for Sociomedical Sciences Research and professor of aociology at Indiana University in Bloomington, are “exclusively stressful.” To understand how these negative relationships can influence biological aging – the speed with which cells give in to the signs of aging, which does not always coincide with a person’s chronological age – Lee and colleagues collected data from over 2,000 people in a survey conducted in Indiana. In addition to questions about social relationships and self-assessments of general health, subjects were also asked to provide saliva samples that were analyzed for changes in DNA that indicate biological aging. The analysis then made it possible to compare the aging rates of those who had hasslers in their network and those who did not.
“Even small effects in terms of biological aging can accumulate,” warns Perry, which can contribute to earlier onset of chronic diseases. The study, the authors point out, does not demonstrate a cause-effect relationship. “We don’t know if molesters are actually the cause of accelerated aging – clarifies Lee -. What we observe is a sort of association between the presence of annoying and problematic elements in one’s social network and the rate of aging”.
There are those who attract them
Why are some people more prone to end up in the hassler’s orbit? Speaking of women, Perry observes, “it is not very surprising that they may have more complicated people in their lives, in part because they are probably more likely to perceive other people’s problems, to feel them and experience them as stress.” Those with health problems, he continues, “may need assistance, and these types of relationships can become one-sided and difficult to negotiate.” Those who had a difficult childhood, then, “tend to be more vulnerable to chronic stress and negative life events, and therefore could also be vulnerable to annoying people”. The study then found that “many of these bothersome elements are family members,” Perry notes, “people ingrained” in the lives of those who suffer them “in ways that are difficult to renegotiate or escape.” In non-family relationships, participants reported that coworkers, roommates, and to a lesser extent neighbors were more likely to be harassing than their friends. Like family members, these groups often involve obligations and the need to manage shared spaces, the study authors note.
How to defend yourself
How to protect your health from nuisances? The most obvious advice, Lee reports, is to evaluate relationships carefully, avoiding botherors when possible, and cutting ties if you perceive someone is adding a lot of negativity and stress to your life, even though this can be an incredibly difficult decision. In reality, however, avoiding any problematic relationships is probably not realistic, scientists warn. You may feel obligated to maintain some, such as those with family members, Lee continues. Other relationships might add some positive aspect to life, as well as some degree of difficulty. So, when you find yourself in the company of a hassler, it may be helpful to limit the time spent with that person or consider therapy to improve difficult aspects of the relationship, Perry suggests.
The “social buffers”
A lifeline is any ‘social buffers’, i.e. constantly investing in positive relationships that offer support. “If you have enough of it in your network or in your environment,” Lee highlights, “you may have some calming effect on your aging,” although this specific aspect has not been investigated. This is especially important, because having companionship is associated with many health benefits. “For me – concludes Debra Umberson, director of the Center on Aging and Population Sciences at the University of Texas Austin, not involved in the study – one of the most surprising aspects, as a scholar of the topic, is social isolation”. The World Health Organization (WHO) published a global report that linked loneliness to 871,000 deaths each year. “It’s very important to have relationships. I wouldn’t want this aspect to be overlooked”, comments Umberson.