I know I’m not the first one this has happened to but I would have preferred not to add myself to the list. I have been playing tennis at my local club for years now. It happens regularly, at least once a week and of course I have a group of friends with whom I enjoy this sport. And the meeting on the clay also becomes a pretext for the aperitif that follows the match and, more often than not, for the dinner that follows the aperitif and which usually also involves the wives. We have become a large and close-knit company. In one case even too much. I can’t say when or how it happened, but the wife of one of my closest friends started secretly dating another man in our circle. I’m sure of it. Do I speak? Am I silent? Should I stop playing tennis?
Thanks to.
Dear A., you are right when you say that you are not the only one to have found yourself in this situation and I am certain that you will not be the last either. But I fear my certainties on the matter stop here. If advising her not to interfere and to pretend not to have noticed anything may seem like the most “conservative” choice for everyone, it is equally true that if a dear friend of mine knew something similar about my husband and did not inform me, I I would be very angry. And I also know (because these are those “macro eventualities” that, over the years, we discuss) that the same friend from whom I would like to be informed, with roles reversed, would never want to know anything about her husband. This is to tell you that the decision to be made should really be evaluated based on the knowledge of the betrayed person.
In your opinion, is he someone who would be furious at the idea of being kept in the dark about everything or is he someone who would start to hate her for having made his world collapse around him by blurting out about the “mixed doubles”? Have you rather considered talking to your cheating wife? Or with the other man? You think about it as you continue to play tennis…