Is everything really worth it in love? I take inspiration from the amendment that caused a sensation banning sexual and emotional education in primary and lower secondary schools to deal with something that has often been the subject of your column. I have always thought that instead of emotional education, etiquette should be taught at school. Just like a school subject. I admit it: I have always loved gallant gestures and compliments! We are now prejudiced and if a woman receives a compliment she is led to think that that compliment is a precursor to getting “something” in return. Paradoxically, when he instead receives a real physical attack… unfortunately he avoids reporting it! I think that students should be taught good manners that could be useful for approaching affectionate relationships. But these teachings, even before school, should start from the family, educating our sons to be real men and use chivalry (… starting from the mothers themselves!). And parents shouldn’t justify their children’s insolence with the usual excuse that “ah, well, they’re young”. Those young men will become men, and it is better for everyone if they know what etiquette is. Also teach your daughters to be graceful and refined, first of all respecting themselves by considering themselves rare and precious. The more precious they are, the more they will decide not to immediately put themselves at the mercy of anyone! And the more exciting it will be for a boy to conquer them. In that way they will be taught to appreciate chivalry so that they know how to avoid those rude and too direct approaches as unfortunately widely read in the news and also in this same column.
Vincenzo Mangione
Dear Vincenzo, emotional education, sexual education, etiquette… I would put them all on the program. I was (re)thinking about it (because I think about it constantly) the other day too, after yet another frustration in front of the communication wall built on my face with the speed and skill of an experienced bricklayer from Bergamo by a teenage son. I was reflecting on the fact that mine seems to be the first generation in history to have given birth to heirs.
We are so terribly uncomfortable with the role, so guiltily unsuitable, that we seem to be the only ones who have ever reproduced it. Believe me, all I do is rack my brains to figure out what went wrong. But either I don’t find answers or I find too many…