Dear Doctor, my name is sn, I am just over forty years old, I live in Genoa, I am a teacher in a compulsory school. After reading one of the last letters that have been sent to her, that of the man abused even in the bedroom by his wife, handle during the intimate moments, I decided to have my say. To that gentleman I say that: women like this, a little brusche, without taboos or excessive shyness, during love are, I pass the definition, a “blessing”. I discovered sex thanks to a girl of this type, let’s say “enterprising”. I came to the age of 22 without ever having had a real sexual approach, out of shyness. Then, the turning point. I have in mind that afternoon: I was lying down, helpless and frightened. Agitated, colorful in the face for the desire, determined more than ever, my girlfriend jumped on me, shaking his red, thick hair. In a few seconds here I am stripped; Like a fury, she did everything … I stared at the ceiling pervaded by pleasure … still today I dream of the scene, after twenty years. Why? The rest is sad: now I live with a woman, my peer, who is the opposite of the “unleashed red”, is a shy, avoidance and reticent person, with “headache”. The first few days we went well enough, but now … making love has become a company. I tried to unlock the situation speaking, bringing home certain films, trying to tease it, a worsening situation. Dear Doctor, what can I do? I am very demoralized and worried about me, for the couple, I survive me by taking care of the memories …
Sn
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Dear sn, avoidant women (like men) are an objective problem for anyone. Especially because the avoidants are in every area of life and not only in the bedroom. They are cold and inhospitable universes: parks of hugs, regardless of understanding, arid in reception, without generosity. The deficiencies under the sheets, which in his case are the main punishment, are just one of the aspects of these human structures.
But since the boring mattress is what creates more discomfort to her, and since it is unlikely to radically change someone’s sexuality, once the field of mutual errors once clear (knows how they say? “There are no frigid women, only incapable men”) I suggest that I change. I propose to her partner to find someone who leaves her alone under the sheets and she pissed off in someone who slaps her with the hair.