Dear Dr. Valeria Braghieri, what is it that makes us fall in love with a person? I ask her expert; With all the letters that arrive and that can examine, most likely a more precise idea will have been made. I make a premise, I don’t write them because I have a specific, scorching problem, but because I am in a moment of reflection, existential, after having lived several loves or presumed such. My name is Sergio N., let’s say middle age, profession of administrator of his assets, several. As they say, wealthy. Personally I have never explained the reason why I have been attracted over the years, and even more, by women completely different from me. Yes yes, I know the “history” of opposites that attract themselves, only to not understand each other and clash continuously. In other moments of my existence I loved a woman who resembled me a lot in the character, in the way of thinking, of being. The relationship, however, over time has been frayed, out of boredom. This is also over. For a few months I see myself with a very beautiful separated lady with whom I do not share an idea, or almost, even socially we come from very different planets, very distant from each other, I arrive from the world of work, I did myself; She from the bourgeoisie, rich, of the city; Among us it is still a “friendship”, but I tell myself that a story with her would be devastating for the most different reasons. I find it a strange woman, sometimes superficial, yet so fascinating and mysterious … at this moment I would throw myself into the fire … in short, I lived a lot but still I understand little or nothing … what is the recipe? How to find someone to live with a true, lasting story with?
Sergio N.
Dear Sergio, for how many letters on the subject can receive, nobody has ever sent me the recipe for perfect love. And he believes me, I too are far from conducting a manual wedding, given all the errors I make every day between impatience and inattention and sloppy. Here, I think that sloppiness, in any union, is the worst thing. But it is certainly not a problem that grips fresh stories, so she is exempt from it.
As for the fact of being tremendously different, is quiet and enjoy your variety of characters and views. These are things that weigh only in the long run and only when building a life together. But you are new lovers and life, I seem to understand, you have already built it before, elsewhere.