Here is a small guide for non-gamer adults, fathers and grandparents, who have children and grandchildren who play video games and are waiting for Friday, when Call od Duty Black Ops 6 will be released, the new chapter in the twenty-year saga of Activision’s first-person multiplayer shooter, whose acronym is COD (so tell your child or grandchild: “So, what’s the new COD like?”; if they don’t have the money, buy it for them without fuss).
I don’t speak to young people, they already know these things. I’m speaking to you, who must relate to it with a minimum of knowledge, so as not to seem old (I’ll tell you how old you are for videogames at the end). First of all, the substantial innovation of the new COD is omnimovement. You will say: and what is the movement? It is the player’s ability to move his character, duck, slide, jump, run, and the better he is at moving, the more skilled he is (the skill is the ability) with movement. Well, in the new COD, of which I tried the Beta (the Beta is the free version released before the official launch), in movement you can do many things at the same time: for example you can dive forward (the Dolphin Dive) while shooting at the enemy , as in the previous COD, but here you can also turn around while you are on the ground and shoot the enemy behind you. Just as you can slide not only forwards, but also sideways. It will take more skill.
Learn the words well, to be ready with your child or grandchild: you don’t slip, you slida (da to slide), you don’t kill, you killa (da to kill), and if you want to be really cool you can ask your son or nephew: “Hey, can we do the slide-cancel?”, which is a type of movement for skilled people, that is, running by sliding and canceling the slide. Looking at it, it seems like a run a bit like a paraplegic on adrenaline and cocaine but you you exclaim “Wow, what a movement!”.
Show up informed, knowing that all this will not be immediately implemented in Warzone (COD’s Battle Royale, if you don’t know what a Battle Royale is don’t worry, pretend you know, let’s say it’s a multiplayer game played with one hundred and fifty people on a very large map), but we will have to wait until the end of November. In the meantime, however, as well as becoming familiar with omnimovement, you can ask if they will unlock the Dark Matter, the secret camouflage. What is a camouflage: each weapon must be leveled by completing challenges to have a special type of coating, and challenges must be done for all weapons to unlock the secret camouflage. So at the beginning everyone will work hard to get it, playing a lot, and this is called grinding. Phrase to say: “Hey, son, you’ll grind for the Dark Matter, I hope.”
You can also be seen informed about the problem of cheaters, which rages on COD and Warzone. Cheaters are those who use cheats (tricks), bought from Chinese or Russian sites, which allow you to have automatic aiming (aimbot), or to see enemies through walls (wallhack). Anyone caught cheating is banned (their account is taken away), but Activision, despite announcing anti-cheats every time, is unable to eliminate them. The phrase to say in the case is: “Hey, son, are there many cheaters? If you find one, report it to Kyborg.”
This way you also show that you know Kyborg, a very good YouTuber and streamer on Twitch who is a cheatbuster, analyzes games and manages to get cheaters banned. (By the way, Twitch is the Amazon platform where the players stream, that is, they broadcast live, but in the meantime it has also been filled with girls who do ASMR, that is, they lick a microphone with two ears and there are those who follow them, find them sexy, exciting, to me they seem idiotic and hearing them whisper and lick only make me want to pee, maybe it’s their age).
Finally, I come to the generational question. There are two groups who know nothing about video games, and they are those who did not experience adolescence in the 1980s. For those born in the 1950s or 1960s there is no hope, which is why I have written this guide for you. Those like me, born in 1970, grew up with the first video games, and also with the cinema of Spielberg and Lucas. My writer friend (and marquis) Fulvio Abbate, for one, born in 1956, not only doesn’t understand a thing about video games but also mistook the DeLorean from Back to the Future that Matteo Renzi brought to the Leopolda for an “American dragster”. There is also a video where Gianni Morandi tries to play COD, and let’s say that, compared to Morandi, Stephen Hawking moved like Jannik Sinner in life.
In any case I hope I have been useful to you and now I’ll leave you, I have to train, on Friday I have to start grinding for the Dark Matter and it will be full of little eight year old brats
very skilled people who will tell me “you’re old, bro”. But I am a veteran, I come from Space Invaders’ Vietnam, and like Rambo I will answer him: “leave me alone, leave me alone, or I will start a war you wouldn’t even dream of”.