In childhood and pre-adolescence there is an often little recognized need: to have times and places among peers, free but safe, where to build autonomy and authentic relationships. This is the focus of the research promoted by Ringoin collaboration with AstraRicerchewhich investigates how children and young people aged between 7 and 14 experience free time, the use of digital technology and adult supervision outside of home and school.

The photograph that emerges tells of days marked by homework, sports and TV. The 66% of tweens dedicate at least an hour to study and homework, while sports and television involve the 52% of the sample. In between is time spent with friends, which shapes relationships and the building of personal autonomy. The Third Space thus takes shape in nearby places – school courtyards, sports fields, libraries, benches – whose importance for autonomy and independence is recognized by 87% of parents, convinced that it also strengthens social skills (66%). In practice, however, moments without adult supervision are recorded in only 33% of casesa percentage that rises to 47% between 13 and 14 years oldheld back by fears related to physical safety, “bad company” and online control.

Moments of autonomy no longer develop only externally. Almost half of pre-adolescents (44%) use the internet, which in effect becomes a new Third Space. The attention of boys and girls is especially captured by social media (59%), especially from the short videos on YouTube and TikTok. In preadolescence the use of web expands: between 11 and 14 years old they enter study (47%) and it becomes the main way to stay in touch with friends (46%), more than between 7 and 10 years. THE the older ones surf more often alone, while the younger ones do it accompanied by their parents.

“This research reveals the whole truth of the current educational complexity. Parents are aware of the risks associated with excessive use of the internet and at the same time they do not trust the real world, perceived as inhospitable and dangerous. At the same time they recognize that the individual and social autonomy of children and pre-adolescents can only develop through gaming and socialization experiences outside of adult control – comments the psychologist and psychotherapist Matteo Lancini. School, sport and recreational activities are not enough, we also need gradual self-experimentation in the world. Free aggregation between peers. Friendship relationships in the absence of adults are fundamental for growth. This is why we adults have to let them go and not just organize.”

In this balance between physical places, peer groups and digital spaces, an important part of the emotional and relational health of the new generations is played: building safe and inclusive Third Party Spaces means accompanying their autonomy, without giving up protection.