Conspiracy theories

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The porch at my house isn't a large one, but the ideas spoken there are. After a few conversations with friends and visitors on that porch, I started to notice some common themes come up. Normally, I'd chalk them up to conspiracy theories and be done with it, but the sheer number of people who bring it up causes me to do a double-take. So, instead of wasting your time, I decided I would do all the deep diving and come back with some real answers. This is Conspiracy Theory 101.

What defines a conspiracy theory? We all know the operating definition, but just to be clear on its actual one, it means a belief that some influential government organization is covertly behind an event. Easy enough, though we should add that they're usually heinous events. 9/11, JFK’s assassination, pizza places that sell children; they've all gotten some love from conspiracy theorists the country over. The difference between the conspiracy theories in the past and the one’s today is the fact that a lot more people, especially young people, believe them. A recent study found that one in eight people under 30 believe Bill Gates is using the coronavirus to establish a new world order, while only one in 25 that are older than 60 believe it.

This is still a staggering amount of people, coming out to somewhere near 7% of people in America on average. How is this all spreading though? And where do lizard people and energy vampires come in?

Well, that's where things get interesting. The driving force behind the newest conspiracy theories detailing the New World Order and energy vampires is a result of a twitter subreddit known as Qanon. Developing a reputation as people who just want to spread information, Qanon has successfully induced hysteria in some people, while just uncomfortability in others.

These subreddit lurkers are, on average, white, conservative men who believe that politically correct speech is weakening the core of the country, and paving the path for the democratic socialist New World Order. Another key component is that celebrities use children to stay young by kidnapping babies and causing them pain to increase their fear levels. They then drain them of Adrenochrome and put it into themselves to stay young. Yes, I know. I told you I would tell you about energy vampires.

The craziest thing to me is not only that people believe this stuff, but that they're willing to sacrifice relationships holding onto it. I explained to an acquaintance of mine that I wasn't interested in the theories and he told me Jesus was also an energy vampire and that he wanted him to explain it all to me. And if he wanted him to do something, he was going to do it.

Yes, that's what it's come to. We've become so bored from Coronavirus that the stir-crazy has just turned crazy. After giving it some real thought, I wanted to find out why they attach themselves to these ideologies so much, so I went back to the acquaintance again and asked why all the hard work to learn about something like this. And he said, "Because knowledge is power, and I'm the most powerful person on the planet. I understand we're in the Matrix, I know we're in it."

So then I say "Well, have you ever been out of it? The matrix, I mean."

The conversation ended quickly.

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