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Louisiana lawmakers have recently taken a strong stance for truth. Right after deciding on whether or not a 16-year-old child can marry someone with their parent’s consent — which they agreed with by the way — lawmakers decided that calling cauliflower rice alternatives “rice” was too much for them. Tsk tsk Louisiana, you sure know which hill to die on.

In a 31-7 Senate vote, the restrictions that include milk, sugar, and rice alternatives being advertised as actual versions of themselves was blasphemous to the culture of Louisiana, where healthy living is just something we don’t like to do, apparently. For those of you who have read my articles in the past, I typically take a soft side to any topic. I try not to be too brash about anything, leaving the constantly subjective morality to change over time.

But here, I change my ways. I mentioned in the first paragraph that another bill had recently been in front of Louisiana lawmakers, a bill that I did take a serious stance on. That bill dealt with child marriage. Child marriage within a country that claims to be not just the police of the free world but its bastion of justice and morality.

Louisiana doesn’t seem to care much for that reputation. I’m a born and raised Louisiana man, and I’ve seen its culture first hand. There are things that I’m proud of and there are things I’m disgusted by. In a disappointing but not altogether shocking conclusion, lawmakers decided that a 16-year-old kid can get married with their parents’ and a judge’s approval. Albeit we are evolving; prior to the bill coming forward there was no minimum age to marry. Yes, you heard that right.

How am I supposed to support a state that believes in something so archaic? Why is Louisiana stuck in time and refusing to make decisions on the things that make a difference? So here we are, talking about rice of all things. Rice, when children are getting married by parents who vote in the judges that agree with this kind of antiquated cruelty.

Excuse my emotion, I suppose now that you’re here to read about the rice alternatives that nobody but Louisiana cares about. I’ll give you the information. The bill was recently passed by the house and senate that put restrictions on whether alternatives can advertise themselves as what they intend to take the place of. Cauliflower rice being called rice, sugar alternatives being called sugar and the like.

The claim by the bill was that it will help people distinguish between the alternatives and the real thing. Come on lawmakers, you really think that Louisiana buyers are too stupid to know the difference? You act like we don’t do any research beforehand or vote in people who marry off children or something. Geesh, give us more credit than that.

This was less of an article and more of a rant. Obviously the words aren’t with me today, so let me just end this with someone much smarter than me. Republican Rep. Nancy Landry, in regards to setting a minimum age for marriage. “If they’re both 16 years old, and they both consent to sexual relations, and they’re about to have a baby, why wouldn’t we want them to be married?"

Because they’re not adults, Rep. Landry. That’s why.

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